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Mark Twain Quotes - Page 28

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Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles; it will make clear and simple many things which are involved in haunting and harassing difficulties and

Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles; it will make clear and simple many things which are involved in haunting and harassing difficulties and obscurities now.

Mark Twain
Simple, Insanity, Insane
Mark Twain (2010). “The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg: And Other Stories”, p.161, The Floating Press

The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like everything.

Mark Twain
Laughter, Cutting, Men
Mark Twain (1876). “Mississippi Writings”, p.181, Library of America

Make your mark in New York and you are a made man.

Mark Twain
New York, Men, Made
Mark Twain (1976). “Mark Twain's Notebooks & Journals, Volume I: (1855-1873)”, p.302, Univ of California Press

A policeman in plain clothes is a man; in his uniform he is ten. Clothes and title are the most potent thing, the most formidable influence, in the earth. They move the human race to willing and spontaneous respect for the judge, the general, the admiral, the bishop, the ambassador, the frivolous earl, the idiot duke, the sultan, the king, the emperor. No great title is efficient without clothes to support it.

Mark Twain
Kings, Moving, Men
Mark Twain (2017). “The Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated Edition): Novels, Short Stories, Memoir, Travel Books, Letters, Biography, Articles & Speeches: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Finn, Life on the Mississippi, Yankee in King Arthur's Court…”, p.5021, e-artnow

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

Mark Twain
Funny, Money, Differences
Notebook, Dec. 1902

If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when the market is just right, they would bring matters around the way they wish them much oftener than they usually do. Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base

Mark Twain
Marriage, Husband, Wife
Mark Twain (1966). “Mark Twain's Satires and Burlesques”, p.185, Univ of California Press

I am only human, although I regret it.

Mark Twain
Funny, Regret, Humorous
Mark Twain (2012). “The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations”, p.5, Courier Corporation

There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land (and work) again after a cheerful, careless voyage.

Mark Twain
Travel, Land, Cheerful
Mark Twain (1976). “Mark Twain's Notebooks & Journals, Volume I: (1855-1873)”, p.306, Univ of California Press

I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts.

Mark Twain
Science, Facts, Opinion
Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.115, Courier Corporation

There is one notable thing about our Christianity: bad, bloody, merciless, money-grabbing, and predatory. The invention of hell measured by our Christianity of today, bad as it is, hypocritical as it is, empty and hollow as it is, neither the deity nor his son is a Christian, nor qualified for that moderately high place. Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilled.

Mark Twain
Christian, Son, Blood

Literature is well enough, as a time-passer, and for the improvement and general elevation and purification of mankind, but it has no practical value.

Mark Twain
Literature, Improvement, Enough
Mark Twain (1969). “Mark Twain's Correspondence with Henry Huttleston Rogers, 1893-1909”, p.386, Univ of California Press

Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.

Mark Twain
Funny, Kindness, Drinking
Mark Twain (2017). “The Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated Edition): Novels, Short Stories, Memoir, Travel Books, Letters, Biography, Articles & Speeches: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Finn, Life on the Mississippi, Yankee in King Arthur's Court…”, p.8122, e-artnow

Carlyle said 'a lie cannot live.' It shows that he did not know how to tell them.

Mark Twain
Lying, Said, Shows
Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.235, Courier Corporation

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

Mark Twain
Drinking, Alcohol, Funny Beer
Mark Twain (2015). “Bite-Size Twain: Wit and Wisdom from the Literary Legend”, p.31, St. Martin's Press

I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.

Mark Twain
Funny, Time, Humorous
Provincial Letters: Letter XVI, December 4, 1656.

Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.

Mark Twain
Passion, Abstinence, Excellent

...nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people.

Mark Twain
Travel, Humor, Men
Mark Twain, Caroline Thomas Harnsberger (1948). “Mark Twain at your fingertips”

God cures and the doctor sends the bill.

Mark Twain
Doctors, Bills, Cures

Synergy - the bonus that is achieved when things work together harmoniously.

Mark Twain
Teamwork, Achievement, Team Building

Give an Irishman lager for a month and he's a dead man. An Irishman's stomach is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him.

Mark Twain
Drinking, Beer, Men

Life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages.

Mark Twain
Birthday, Failure, Age
Mark Twain, Bob Blaisdell (2013). “The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain”, p.15, Courier Corporation

If you should rear a duck in the heart of the Sahara, no doubt it would swim if you brought it to the Nile.

Mark Twain
Heart, Swimming, Ducks
Mark Twain (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)”, p.143, Delphi Classics

I have never seen what to me seemed an atom of proof that there is a future life. And yet-I am inclined to expect one.

Mark Twain
Religious, Atoms, Proof
Mark Twain (2017). “MARK TWAIN - The Man Behind the Humor: Complete Autobiographical Books & Biographies: The Complete Travel Books, Essays, Autobiographical Writings, Speeches & Letters, With Author’s Biography; The Innocents Abroad, Roughing It, Life on the Mississippi, What Is Man, Christian Science…”, p.6371, e-artnow

The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible.

Mark Twain
Reality, Differences, Needs

The modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism is loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.

Mark Twain
Inspirational, Country, Memorial Day
"The Czar's Soliloquy". Essay by Mark Twain, first published in The North American Review, No. DLXXX (p. 324), March 1905.

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