Groucho Marx Quotes about Inspiration - Page 2

I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.

I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it

The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old

There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.

You're heading for a breakdown. Why don't you pull yourself to pieces?

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.

It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa

She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills

Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth"

If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.