Funny Quotes - Page 49

The interesting thing about coaching is that you have to trouble the comfortable, and comfort the troubled

If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends.

That's a funny thing, because it's 3 rivals who get a long great on the club that are friends [Neimar, Lionel Messi and Louise Alberto Suarez]. And it's something kinda impossible to imagine that it would happen. But it did and things have been working for us. Of course we mess with each other when someone goes to the national team, but we get a long great.

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.

It's bizarre that the produce manager is more important to my children's health than the pediatrician.

I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.

Sometimes the person who is the most logical is the person whom we call insane.

We must use time as a tool, not as a couch.

If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.

Natural forces within us are the true healers of disease.

If you rest, you rust.

It is a funny thing, but when I am making music, all the answers I seek for in life seem to be there, in the music. Or rather, I should say, when I am making music, there are no questions and no need for answers.

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Remember that a very good sardine is always preferable to a not that good lobster.

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.

In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.

Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.

The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.